I, Hurricane
by elleuu2Y5
Summary: "So that is it? You are leaving?" Dean cried. "Dean… You killed her!" Sam spun around in the doorway, tears rolling down his face, to look at Dean, "You… You're poison!" With one last sorry filled look, Sam turned his back on Dean and walked through the door. Dean just stood there. Slowly, his knees began to fold, and he crumbled to the floor, in the middle of the room.


**_So, looking for new music on fanfiction music videos (as you do) - I_ cam **e** _across an amazing video - from which sprung this story... not my usual... but I just had to write it...for some reason... the video was: I'm poison|Dean Winchester, to the song Hurricane by Fleurie? ... The video was made by Eleanor Winter - look it up - it sets the scene... Hope you like it... and my story..._**

* * *

I, Hurricane.

By LW

"Enough! Dean… Enough." Sam bellowed across the motel room, he shook his head, eyes wide, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threatened to stream from his eyes, if he lost control.

"Sammy…" pleaded Dean.

"No… Dean… Enough!" Sam moved over to the couch where his backpack lay, clothes spilling out of it. He slowly pushed each item back in, before retrieving his computer from the small table by the door. He put that in his bag too and walked towards the door.

Dean stood motionless in the middle of the room. His eyes glistened in the light; tears had welled up, but not fallen yet.

Sam opened the door and made to walk out it, when Dean asked, "So that is it? You are leaving?"

Sam stopped, and without turning he agreed, "Yeah, that is it…"

"Sammy…"

"Dean… You killed her!" Sam spun around in the doorway, tears rolling down his face, to look at Dean, "You… You're poison!" With one last sorry filled look, Sam turned his back on Dean and walked through the door.

Dean just stood there.

Slowly his knees began to fold, and he crumbled to the floor, in the middle of the room.

Tears flowing freely.

Dean had always felt that he was worthless and that he constantly failed his brother. He failed him when they were younger; failed to give Sam the childhood he deserved. Dean carried that guilt, even though anyone would have said that that was not his fault, his cross to bear.

Dean felt that he had failed Sam later too, first by dragging him back into hunting, and then for not protecting him from Azazel. Even though Dean had ultimately given everything, for Sam to live again, Dean still believed he had failed his brother.

This… This was the ultimate, Dean reflected. From this, there was no return; Sam would never forgive him, not for this.

Fresh pain surged into Dean's heart, as he remembered what he had done.

* * *

 _ **Four hours earlier…**_

Dean walked into the diner; he saw Sam and Taryn sitting at the booth by the far wall. Dean stood for a moment, watching them. They were deep in conversation, relaxed and happy looking. Most importantly, they looked to be in love.

Sam and Taryn had been seeing each other for over three months now, ever since Sam had driven past her, stranded on the side of the road; her car had broken down.

Sam was slowly telling her about his life, the family business. He was afraid that it would scare her off, but equally, he was not willing to mislead her.

Today was the day of her first visit to the bunker, and Dean had come by to pick them up. Sam had been staying with Taryn at the motel most nights; her car still not fixed.

"Hey lovebirds…" Dean said as he walked up beside the booth, "You two ready?"

Taryn looked up at Dean, with her big green eyes, and eagerly cried, "Yes please…" Sam giggled.

'The boy is clearly smitten' Dean thought, 'look at him chuckling away like a teenage girl'. Dean shook his head as he turned and walked from the diner, followed closely by Sam and Taryn.

The drive to the bunker was quick and once there, Dean retreated to the library to leave the lovebirds to it.

This was where he was sitting when Sam and Taryn walked in. Sam was a little agitated, "Dean…" he said, "I have to go into town. Lester rang and he wants to talk with me. Would you mind hanging with Taryn for a bit?"

Dean was amused, and intrigued; Lester was the nickname they were using for Castiel because Taryn was not yet aware of the whole 'angel' thing. The name amused Dean, but the information Castiel might have for them intrigued him. Dean was also a little miffed that Cass had not called him; he took his phone out and checked, oops on silent, no vibrations.

"Yeah sure, we can hang…" Dean replied as he kicked the chair opposite him so that it popped out from under the table. He indicated that Taryn should sit.

Sam shook his head, instantly regretting asking Dean to look out for Taryn, but he knew that it would be the cause of far too many questions if he decided to send Dean now instead.

Sam would just have to make this fast, he thought to himself, so Taryn did not have to suffer too long.

Sam had not been gone long when Taryn asked Dean if she could look through the weapons room again. Dean walked in there with her; he stood by the map desk as Taryn walked around the room. Dean answered each of her questions, as best he could, while being careful not to let on to anything, she was not supposed to know yet.

Dean got a text message and took his eyes off Taryn to read it. Dammit, he thought, the text was from Sam and it indicated that Castiel's news was not good. Dean flicked through the contact list on his phone, bringing Sam's name up, rather than waste time texting him, Dean decided to call; he would just have to talk in code.

As the phone rang, Dean's eyes went back to Taryn, as she picked up an amulet from one of the green felt cases. Dean watched, as her eyes glazed over and confusion spread across her face. Taryn turned slowly in the weapons room until she was completely facing Dean.

Alarm sprang up within him, something was wrong with Taryn. The phone moved away from Dean's ear, as he moved towards her; in the background, Dean could faintly hear his brother calling his name, through the tiny speaker.

Dean was a couple of metres away from Taryn when she asked, fear and confusion escalating in her voice and on her face, "Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here?"

Dean stopped in his tracks; he had no idea what had just happened, or why Taryn acted like this. Dean made to move towards her, but Taryn was frightened and she tried to back away from him quickly, as she did so, she dropped the amulet; the change in her demeanour was almost instant.

Taryn straightened up, her face now calm and content, and most weirdly, she smiled at Dean as she said, "This is all so interesting."

Dean was very confused now. He asked if she was okay, 'of course' she replied, 'why wouldn't she be'; it was as if nothing had happened, she was herself again.

Taryn claimed she wanted some tea and went off to make it. In her absence, Dean bent over and picked up the amulet, flipping it over in his hand, he started to wonder what it was and what it did. Dean moved over to the weapons catalogue and started flipping through the old card system.

This is where Sam found him after Castiel flew him back.

"Dean…" Dean spun around at the tone of the voice that had just called his name, he mentally face-palmed himself; Dean had completely forgotten that he had called Sam just as Taryn had gone 'weird'.

"What the hell, dude? Where is Taryn?" Sam all but yelled at his brother, "Is she okay?" Dean was like a deer, stuck in the headlights of an oncoming car; unsure which question to answer first, he made a gesture of 'I am sorry' while saying, "She is all good…" Castiel cocked his head to the side, while Sam repeated the second question, still yelling, "Where is Taryn?"

"Tea…" Dean blurted out, and then realising he had not explained much, he elaborated, "She went to make some… tea… in the kitchen…" Sam was out of the room before Dean even finished speaking. Dean stood there, still shocked, 'what was I doing?' he thought and just as suddenly the recollection of what had happened, came back to him and he moved back to the catalogue.

"You lied." Castiel accused Dean, as he moved toward him.

"Yeah… I am gonna need a bit more information than that Cass, to have this conversation."

Dean's reply confused Castiel and he cocked his head to the side again, waiting for Dean to fill in the blanks. Dean continued rifling through the catalogue, trying to ignore Castiel. He had to find out what had just happened, but the presence of Castiel and the guilt got to him, sighing heavily, Dean turned to Castiel and said, "Okay… I'll bite… Lied about what?"

"Taryn. You do not think she is okay?"

Not for the first time Dean thought, 'how the hell does he do that', a second thought entered his mind just as quickly and he let that one turn into words, "Where is baby?"

Dean had suddenly worked out, that if Castiel had brought Sam back so fast, then baby was still out there, "Take me to her." Dean pushed.

"No. What is wrong with Taryn?"

"Nothing, Cass. Now take me to baby." Whether Castiel believed Dean, about Taryn, or whether he was simply giving in, was unclear, but the next instant Dean and Castiel were standing beside baby.

"Baby…" breathed Dean, as he made a quick reconnaissance to see that she was good on all four fronts, before jumping in behind the wheel.

Once there, he realised he did not have any keys, which is when Castiel, hopping into the passenger seat, jangled them at him.

Dean made for the keys, but Castiel moved them out of his reach, stating simply, "Taryn?"

"Fine…" Dean spat. Dean shifted in his seat reaching into his pocket to pull out the amulet, he had stashed there, as he did so he told the story about Taryn, acting all weird, in the War room after she picked up the amulet. Just as Dean finished the story, he managed to pull the amulet out of his pocket, holding it up for Castiel to see.

"Dean…" Castiel exclaimed, the tone of his voice ominous, his eyes wide open with worry, "That is an 'amulet of the heart'…"

"A what-what now?"

"An amulet of the heart…" Castiel repeated.

"And what does… an amulet of the heart… do?" Dean asked, not fully taking in Castiel's state.

"It gives the bearer, mastery of their own heart and mind…" Castiel stared at Dean, waiting for him to understand the gravity of the situation; but it was lost on Dean; he had no idea of the significance of what Castiel had just said.

"It gives control… back to the bearer, Dean. It dampens the possessing demon, and gives the bearer control of their own mind and body…" Finally, Castiel could see that Dean understood what was happening; Dean's eyes went wide at that last statement, "No way… Taryn is not possessed. Sammy would have… Sammy would…" Dean's mind went crazy at the prospect of Taryn, possessed by a demon. How long had this been going on, was she always one – from the moment, she had met Sam? Did they send her to get close to him? Or did they just see an opportunity, and take it. Either way, Dean knew he had to get back to the bunker and fast.

"Keys…" Dean demanded, and ripping them from Castiel's hand, he put them in the ignition and the Impala roared to life; revving the engine Dean tore off up the street.

Back at the bunker, Dean ran around yelling for Sam, but there was no reply; Castiel repeatedly told him that Sam was not there, but Dean refused to listen to m, until he saw the red Chevy was missing from the garage; a car that Sam had recently acquired for himself.

Dean got on his computer and started up the location program on Sam's mobile; at least he had not shut that off.

Sam was at the motel. Taryn's motel. Dean rushed back to the Impala, ignoring pleas from Castiel to think about this. To consider what might be going on here, and to come up with a course of action – not, 'to just go tearing off', into the unknown.

Den heard what Castile was saying, he considered it even, but he knew he was way past that. Dean had to move now, Sam might be in danger and Dean would not have that. Could not have that.

* * *

By the time, Dean got to the motel it was just coming up on noon.

There was only one car in the lot, the red Chevy. Dean went to room 39 and knocked on the door. It took all his control to not just bash the door down, storm the place, hall Taryn up and force a confession out of her.

Sam opened the door and looked very confused to see his brother standing there, "Dean… what…" he stuttered, not sure what to make of it.

"Sammy, we need to talk!" Dean's tone and body language were very agitated and it instantly put Sam on edge.

"Why? What is…"

"Honey. What's wrong?" came Taryn's voice from inside the room.

"It's…" Sam started, but the look on Dean's face made him stop mid-sentence, he rarely sore Dean like this, and he knew something was up. Something terrible. "It's ok… I'll be back in a…"

Before Sam could finish the sentence, Taryn had pulled the door open, revealing Dean standing there.

"Dean…" she said, a suspicious look on her face, "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing…" Dean said, his voice menacing.

"Dean…" warned Sam.

"Sammy… that is not Taryn." Dean asserted.

"Dean… what the hell?" cried Sam, as Dean walked in the room, moving towards Taryn.

"Sam… What is going on? What is your brother talking about? Why is he here?" Taryn sounded as if she was on the verge of tears, fear in her voice as she backed away from Dean. Even though her voice sounded scared, her eyes told the true story as she watched Dean; Taryn, or the demon in her, knew that Sam could not see Taryn's face because his brother was blocking his view. It, the demon, used this, to taunt Dean, making sure that Dean knew what was happening but also ensuring that Sam stayed in the dark.

The reason for this was simple, the demon could not afford to be caught, it would rather Dean kill it than that alternative; but if it could do something, anything to pull the brothers apart, then it was going to try that, and then maybe the plan would stay on track.

"Give me a break. Don't go all 'goo-goo cry baby' on me. I know what you are!" Dean exploded.

Sam confused about what was happening, made to grab Dean by the shoulder and yanked hard, trying to spin him around to face him. At exactly that moment, Taryn pulled a gun; seemingly from thin air, and was levelling it up to shoot in the direction of the brothers.

Fearing for Sam's life, Dean tried yanking himself free of Sam's grasp and shoved backwards, knocking Sam to the ground, all the while, he was drawing his own gun and swinging it around towards the demon.

It played out in slow motion; Taryn's shot rang out, it caught Dean in the left shoulder, a through and through. As Dean went crashing to the ground, brought down by Sam, who still had some grip on his shoulder, Dean fired, and his aim was true. A bullet wound opened up in Taryn's forehead, she sparked out as the demon died within her, shot by the colt.

Dean hit the ground hard, bleeding profusely, as he watched the demon die.

Sam, however, saw none of this, his view still shielded by Dean; it looked like the demon may have got its dying wish.

* * *

 _ **Present Time**_

Dean flinched again as he recalled the fallout of the shooting. He had no idea how long he had been sitting on that motel room's floor. The open door, through which Sam had left, swayed gently in the breeze.

Dean could still hear Sam yelling her name. See him picking her up and cradling her body, crying to the heavens, "NO…"

Sam had yelled for what seemed like hours but had only been minutes, and then he had gone silent. Just sitting there, staring at Taryn, his mind ticking away. Dean had wanted to explain, but he could see that Sam was not in the right space for that – not yet – so instead, he had gone about trying to patch up his own shoulder.

Dean had moved to the bathroom where he had used a towel to stem the bleeding and then, he tied one of Sam's singlets, that was hanging on a line there, around the wound, before he popped some painkillers, trying to dull what he was feeling.

Dean knew though, that no amount of painkillers were going to fix his real pain; the pain of how he felt, hurting his brother, yet again.

Dean was still standing in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, hating on himself, feeling worthless, when he had heard Sam moving. Dean had come out then and started trying to explain, only to get knocked down, "Enough… Dean… Enough…"

Now, Sam was gone, possibly for good this time, and even though Dean knew that it had been a warranted kill; it was a demon, after all, Sam did not know that. Ultimately, Dean knew it did not really matter. He was and had always been, poison. Maybe Sam was better off, without him.

Fresh pain crammed into Dean's heart at that thought, until overflowing with it, he cried out, "What am I supposed to do…"

* * *

Dean continued to sit there, on the floor of the motel room, until his legs started to go numb from being pinned under him in such an awkward position. Dean moved then and in doing so, he felt a sharp pain in his upper thigh, as something in his pocket dug into him.

Dean moved slightly, digging into his pocket to remove the offending object. It was the amulet, and just as Dean flipped it over in his hands, he felt a searing pain rip through his head, as a blinding light pierced his eyes, like tiny stabbing knives.

Dean clawed at his head, begging for the pain to stop. With the pain came the visions. It was 'flashes' really. Flashes of Sam and Taryn, flashes of how happy they were, flashes of what they had done together, the time they had spent together.

Dean featured in these happy flashes as well, making what he had done, even more punishing.

Just as Dean thought, he could not handle the pain of the memories, the flashes changed. Now he saw flashes of only Taryn, of what she had been doing, to Sam, as opposed to with Sam. The flashes slowly revealed her, the demon's, plan for Sam; the demon's plan and more importantly, who was behind the plan.

Dean was beyond angry; this was not over, not by a long shot. He had one thought, before he passed out from the pain, 'Sammy…'

* * *

Dean came too, on the floor of the motel. Castiel was standing over him, "Are you alright?" he demanded.

"Yeah." Dean replied, after checking himself over, Castiel had healed him, he realised quickly as he jumped up off the floor. Dean made his way over to the bedside table where he found a notepad and pen, and he started writing. Castiel just stood watching him; Dean worked away for ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Sometimes he was writing busily and sometimes, just sitting there thinking. Eventually, he finished whatever it was he was working on, ripping the page from the pad, he folded it up and put it in his jacket pocket, and then, he got up and walked from the room.

The tracking program in Sam's phone did not work this time, obviously, Sam had turned it off; he did not want Dean to find him now and Dean could not blame him. Dean had tried ringing, but it just went through to voicemail – he decided quickly there was no point in trying to leave a message; Sam would not listen to it. Not now.

Dean had sat in the Impala, Castiel beside him; trying to work out how to find Sam, when he remembered the Chevy. Dean had lojacked the car, without Sam knowing, for just this reason; needing to find his brother, if ever he was in trouble. Dean was always prepared when it came to protecting his little brother; the only thing Dean cared about, in this world.

Now, Dean was speeding along the highway, Sam's life was in danger, and he had very little time to stop the demon's plan. "Where do demons go when they are killed?" Dean asked Castiel, "I mean, I know they go back to hell when we exorcise them, but where do they go when they are killed, by the colt say, they're gone right but are they completely gone?"

"Dean, I…" Castiel was not sure how to answer this. He himself had never really thought about it before.

"Are they really dead, Cass? Or do they just go to purgatory, with all the other monsters." Dean pleaded with Castiel for an answer.

"I suppose they go to purgatory… Dean… I don't know…"

Dean knew though.

He had seen it in the flashes. Azazel was reborn and trying to find a way out of purgatory, or at least, it looked a lot like purgatory to Dean; a place he had seen before.

Azazel's plan involved using Sam to unlock the door, to purgatory, and hitching a ride back out, in his body. Taryn, or the demon within, had been preparing Sam's body over the past three months.

During the nights, she would make sure that he was unconscious, using her own type of magic, and then, she would perform rituals over his body. Taryn fed him demon blood, among other things, making his body ready to be Azazel's vessel; she also altered his tattoo to make entry into his body possible again and thereby ensuring Azazel's deliverance from his new prison.

Sam was also wearing a very special armband; it was a key to purgatory. Taryn had bestowed it upon Sam, and he had been wearing it ever since. At exactly the right time, and on command from Azazel, in purgatory, during a very complex ritual, the armband would open a portal around Sam. Azazel would be free to take up his new found body and step back into the world of the living.

That time was tonight; not long from now, Dean realised, looking again at his watch.

Dean gave the car more gas and when he realised he was coming up on Sam, he still had no clear plan. When Dean saw the red Chevy ahead, all he could think about was saving Sam.

Dean started honking the horn, trying to make Sam pull over, but Sam, having realised his brother was behind him, just put his foot down and tried to outrace him. Dean's car was still the faster of the two and he floored it now, racing ahead of Sam and in a moment of pure abandon, he spun the car around, completing a close 270-degree turn, giving Sam nowhere to go; Sam slammed on the brakes, his Chevy coming to rest, mere inches from the passenger side of impala.

Sam was quick to react, leaping from his car, and racing around to confront Dean. He did not have far to go, Dean having jumped from the Impala in a similar manner to that of his brother. They met half way; murder on Sam's mind, Dean only thinking about saving Sam.

A white light started to slowly spread from the armband on Sam's left wrist. Sam stared down at it in confusion, 'what the hell' he thought. Dean had seen it too, and grabbed Sam's arm, ripping the band off in one clean sweep, while at the same time forcing something into Sam's hand.

Dean took off, running away from Sam, back down the road.

He didn't get far, before the light prevented him from running any further, instead, he turned on the spot and looked back at Sam, safe, a couple of meters up the road, "I'm sorry…" he mouthed, as the light engulfed him.

Sam ran for his brother, but Castiel, to whom Dean had told the full story during the car ride, reached for him, holding him back, "You can't. That's what he wants…" Castiel murmured in his ear.

"Who? Castiel… let me go…" Sam yelled as he struggled to free himself, his eyes still fixed on Dean. A figure came up behind Dean and hit him. Dean fell down – out of Sam's sight now, but Sam saw the figure as he turned, looking through the light, it was Azazel. Pure evil emanated from him as he tried to walk forward to Sam, but the light held him, as Castiel held Sam.

Just as quickly as the light had appeared, it disappeared, and the road ahead of Sam was empty, his brother, gone.

* * *

 _ **Epilogue**_

Castiel told Sam the story.

Sam read the letter; the piece of paper Dean had spent time writing on before he left the motel, the object he had forced into Sam's hand before running, with the key to purgatory.

* * *

 _Dear Sammy,_

 _I'm sorry._

 _Sorry for everything. **All** the wrongs I have done to you. I know that I can never make up for them, but I would die trying – please know that._

 _Don't come for me. That is what he wants, more than anything else, and we can't give him that._

 _He hasn't won, not yet, Sammy, but if you come for me, then he will._

 _If I can – I will get out of here, you know that._

 _In the meantime, forget about me – go and live your life. The one you would have had, if not for me screwing everything up._

 _I ruin everything, Sammy, I always have._

 _You were right. I'm poison. A hurricane you don't need in your life. You deserved better._

 _Get a real job, find love – just, check that she is not a demon first – hey?… and most importantly, live your life._

 _I have always loved you – and everything I ever did, was to try to make sure you were safe._

 _I hope you know that, even after I screwed up everything._

 _Seriously Sammy, go… live your life._

 _And_

 _Take care of yourself,_

 _Dean_


End file.
